Here we go again!

Minimum of two years and nine months. That was my spacing goal between Little C and his future sibling. Apparently the good Lord and mother nature had other plans.

Yes oh yes, I am pregnant and due December 31st 2009 - yikes! I'll do the math for you - 20 and 1/2 months. That is how far apart these two kiddos will be, so my worst parenting fear of two kiddos under two years of age (followed closely by my parenting fear of three under three which is slightly less intimidating since I can guarantee infallible steps will be taken to prevent that) will soon be a fact of life.

Let me be clear, we always said that God willing, we wanted more kids, and after dealing with conception issues and a miscarriage before Little C, I am truly grateful that this new little addition seemed to pop up with er...minimal effort, but let me paint the 'two under two' picture for you. Two cribs, two baby monitors, two car seats, double strollers, two high chairs, two kids in diapers, possibly two kids still drinking out of baby bottles (if one decides to revert since we will have just weened him onto a sippy cup). Sleepless nights but no naps for mom to make up for it since by then Little C will be down to max of one-nap-a-day and I'm sure it will be all I can do to get food cooked and maybe a load of laundry done.

As annoying as all that other stuff is, the worst part (to me) of having two under two is that Little C won't really understand what is going on when the baby arrives. Not that any child is ever really prepared to 'share' mom and dad when a sibling arrives, but at least with a kid that is talking you can explain things to a certain extent. As terrible as it sounds, I have even found myself occasionally resentful of this little baby...it has already drained me of so much energy that I could otherwise be devoting to Little C, I can only imagine what things will be like when he/she actually arrives.

I also keep having irrational fears that I won't love this child as much as I love Little C. Considering there was a time I was ever-so-slightly concerned I might not love Little C as much as I loved our two cats (which subsequently I would now like to get rid of if anyone is interested!) I know that this kind of thinking is ludicrous, but still, I find myself concerned about it at times.

I know, I know. I sound like a horrible person who is acting immature and ungrateful for this precious gift of life. In my defense, though, I'm on the back end of close to 17 weeks of morning sickness, and while it has slowed, it has showed no signs of stopping. Silly me, here I though subsequent pregnancies were supposed to get easier - HA!

And could we have had worse timing for a due date?? Mr. C is excited we will be in the running for a 2009 tax break, but that's the short-list of the pro's. The poor kid will constantly be getting those dreaded combo gifts...you know the birthday/Christmas gift where you basically get cheated out of half of your yearly quota of presents. And don't think as parents we will be any better than the general population. I mean Christmas is hard on the budget as is, so I'm sure we'll end up being guilty combo gift givers on more than one occasion.

I've decided I'm going to have to let this child celebrate their half birthday because birthday parties around the holidays are unlikely. As for the birth itself, well the holidays are shear craziness as it is, but now with a baby on the way...forgettaboutit! I basically need everything baby related squared away by Thanksgiving so I can shift gears to focus on the holidays, not that we will actually be going anywhere to celebrate. We may not even put up a Christmas tree because the last thing I want to be messing with in my limited spare time after my newborn arrives is packing up Christmas decorations (a task I hate so much, I've been known to put it off until Valentine's day).

Anyway, just to catch everyone up, I'm 17 weeks. Due to horrible morning sickness and the impending strain on our finances, we canceled our long awaited anniversary trip to the Pacific Northwest (sniff sniff) and settled for a staycation during that time instead. I also was unable to complete my training for the Danskin Triathlon. Yea, several hundred dollars in registration fees and new triathlon gear up-in-smoke along with two and a half months of training. I'm still holding out hope to compete next year though.

We will not be finding out if we are having a boy or a girl this time around. In the spirit of the holiday season, we have elected to maintain a 'no peeking' policy and are going to let the gender of the baby remain a surprise until his/her birthday (and yes I have a hunch...I am about 1000% sure it is a girl). I hope this will also help me refrain from shopping for all that needless stuff I'm sure to be tempted to buy for the baby and the nursery, but so far it hasn't been working! :)

If you have a sec, any prayers you can send our way for a safe and healthy pregnancy/delivery are truly truly appreciated as well as prayers for my morale which (as you may have noticed) has pretty much been in the toilet for the majority of this pregnancy...and any advice from you seasoned moms of 2 is eagerly welcome as well!!