Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween is over, the sugar crash is setting in

Halloween is over, the sugar crash is setting in, and according to the retail industry, we were supposed to start thinking about Christmas yesterday.

I'm not going to disrespect the turkey by putting up Christmas decorations just yet, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to start drafting up the ol' family Christmas letter.

Maybe it's pregnancy hormones or maybe it's just the general state of grumpiness I live in without alcohol, but my husband seemed to think my first letter was too cynical and sarcastic for public circulation. This is my fifth draft. I think it's a winner...Stephen thinks we still have a ways to go.

Dear family and friends,
In keeping with tradition, we have enclosed a family photo that we paid shy of a year's college tuition for. When ever in doubt of our character, kindness, self discipline, generosity, attractiveness or personal hygiene, we hope you will refer to this photo to reassure you that we are happy, calm, smiling, and have it all together, no matter what you may have seen or experienced when dealing with us in person.  Also in keeping with our tradition, here is a brief update on life at the Childress household.  Carter is brilliant, and continues to baffle us by being the smartest child in the world. We aren't 100% out of pull-ups yet, but I know that it is only a side effect of his independent thinking style and genius IQ.  Jack is the world's cutest baby/big boy depending on what mood he's in. Potty training? He wants to be a baby. Playing with knives? Big boy. Fortunately, he's so charming and good looking, we barely even notice we're being blatantly manipulated. Our beloved cat Scratch is seldom/never mentioned in our holiday correspondence because he is an animal, but that didn't change how deeply saddened we were to lose him earlier this year. Luckily he was returned to us by a concerned neighbor.  Stephen is still working at Elite Compression Services so I can stay at home pursuing my passions. They change weekly, but mostly involve parenting. Stephen and I both celebrated the big 3-2 this year, which means we have now legally been driving for more than half our lives. To celebrate we each scored traffic tickets and took defensive driving online. Despite the new technology and lack of stand up comedy, it was a nice trip down memory lane, since none of the material had been updated since 1996.  Certainly the biggest news we have to share is that we will be welcoming a third child into our family in February 2013. We do not know yet if it will be a boy or a girl, but we are positive it will be the most beautiful baby you've ever seen and that we will post an exorbitant number of pictures online, clogging up your Facebook feed and causing you to block if not unfriend us. In closing we'd like to wish everyone a happy holiday/new year and look forward to getting your Christmas cards so we can confirm that we are still friends. With genuine love and affection,  The Childresses

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